I hear everyone suddenly say “happy new year”, and I smile at them.
My mind registers 3 distinct words instead of one phrase. It’s about the year ahead, which is new, but more importantly it’s about happiness.
I wanna spend some time on happiness and pleasure.
People often confuse the two, and I don’t blame them. People often indulge in acts, experiences or buy products that give them pleasure in that moment, and they think its happiness. What they have experienced is momentary pleasure due to an act or action. It is the temporary effect of an action which was performed to evoke this very desired feeling.
Once people mistake this feeling for happiness they want to constantly indulge in “pleasure acts” because they believe it will lead to happiness.
Example – I’ll buy new clothes, I’ll attend a party, I’ll dance, I’ll get a boyfriend, I’ll get married and feel settled, for the sake of feeling settled and it will give me pleasure therefore it will make me “complete” and thus I’ll be happy. These people end up chasing a state which is illusionary, and in their race to chase, and sustain this state, they feel stress, pressure and eventually empty. So where is the happiness?
Paradoxical? Were they not suppose to get pleasure which was the origin and culmination of happiness; bliss.
Now on to happiness.
Happiness is not temporal, it’s not subjective, it’s not derived from specific actions. Happiness is a way of life. Happiness is when you can smile without the condo, the beamer and a job. It comes and is linked to sense of finite security, positive energy and undying optimism. This is what is objective about happiness and not it’s manifestations.
Happiness is the joy that illuminates the mind, and soul at all times. It’s the smile you have when you go to meet your friends, parents or lovers. Happiness is not evoked by an external object, nor is any external object capable of being the source of YOUR HAPPINESS.
Happiness is not derived, it is lived. It’s in all the things you have to do- live!
A few days ago I explained to a friend, that while growing up I told myself I will only do the things I love – because it made me happy, but after some time I realized I’ll start to love all the things I have to do, else I’ll never be happy. I’ve never had a conflict or dull moment after that day. So don’t look for happiness in pleasurable acts, look for pleasure in happiness, because it’s a way of life.
I work with brands and advise marketers, and while I don’t want to relegate this post to marketing gyan. I must confess I have used this philosophy to help them construct brands and ideas that do not promise “fulfillment and joy” out of using their product, but rather espouse a larger cause which leads to real happiness.
So, please find pleasure in happiness and not happiness in pleasure.
